Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Let There Be NO Goblins!

Ok, here's a brainstorm I want to get out:
I hereby declare that there will be NO goblins in my future Labyrinth Lord campaign! Nor will there be hobgoblins. And there will be no orcs. There may be trolls, but even if there are, they will not be called trolls. In fact, I will probably be doing a lot of eliminating or "reskinning" of traditional D&D creatures.
Why would I do this to the poor goblins and other D&D staple monsters? Because I'm tired of them. Tired, tired, tired. I'm just bored of them. They're all over the damned place! Plus, I suspect that my players may be bored of them as well. And if they're not bored of them, my players know what to expect when I say "You encounter some goblins." They think "Oh, goblins, no need to worry! These guys are weak!"
Yes, yes, there's the old argument about "player versus character knowledge." But come on. Players can't be robots and shut down their preconceived notions entirely. At the very least, they're probably saying to themselves "Oh boy, here we go again."
And yes, I know that you can tweak the goblin's abilities to create "uber-goblins" with all sorts of insane hit points, powers, whatever. But it's still a friggin' goblin.
So, what will replace those ousted humanoids? I have some ideas. A race of beastmen that resemble sasquatch, or perhaps some neanderthals. Or perhaps both of these, and some other concoctions I'm considering.
But all of this is part of my growing excitement for my next campaign. Yes, getting rid of goblins has made me very very excited. I know, a nerdier statement was never uttered.


  1. I love goblins. My heart weeps every time I see them presented as primitive, smelly tribesmen squatting in basements and caves. Gygax and Tolkien should be tried in the Hague for crimes against mythology.

  2. Definitely feel ya on this one. I'm a player in a Pathfinder game right now, and even with the more "impish" take on goblins that Paizo introduced...::yawn::

    Just make sure you include a suitably low-level monster for PCs to wail on or else they're going to be killing lots of giant rats and crap. Might I suggest degenerate dwarves?

  3. Check this out!

  4. Nah! It's just not D&D without Goblins pestering you. They're supposed to be a frustration! D&D's cockroach, if you will.

    Just when you thought you found a safe place to rest and recoup your spells!


  5. Yes, I dropped goblins and similar "enemy races" from my campaign some time ago. You can read about it here: