End-of-YEAR Elmore Musings (12/31/12)

The horizon of a new year beckons...

There's no need to state how I'm thinking back on the year that was, and looking ahead to the year to come. Most of us are doing that right now, and of course I'm no different.

I missed last Friday's End-of-Week Elmore. So I figured I'd do it today, cleverly call it the End-of-YEAR Elmore, and use it as a vehicle for my New Year's Eve reflections.

With regard to my year in roleplaying, I'm happy with how 2012 went. It was the first full year of my return to roleplaying, and I had a grand old time. I've been going strong since I officially returned to the table-top RPG scene in April 2011. My gaming activities have been fairly regular, and nothing if not intense. By intense, I mean that roleplaying has been my primary pastime for nearly two years, and has consumed most of my spare time, whether it be actual play or planning for sessions.

Adult life being what it is these days, I'm feeling, as Bilbo Baggins said, "like butter scraped over too much bread." I suspect that I'm also feeling a bit "toasty" (see what I did there? ;-) from the intensity of my mental focus on roleplaying. I won't say that I'm officially "burnt out" when it comes to roleplaying in general. It definitely hasn't gotten to that point. Consider it more like the "good tired" that comes after a work-out.

I think I'm experiencing some self-induced exhaustion when it comes to being a GM. The source of this exhaustion rests squarely on my shoulders. When it comes to my recreational interests, I don't do things half-assed. I dive head-first into whatever has caught my fancy. I think I've been so driven to make the most of my return to gaming that I haven't let myself take a breath. I think I need to take a step back from my endeavors and give some thought to my table-top experiences so far.

It's probably time for me to reflect on where I've been, relinquish the reigns for a while, and savor the new RPG memories I've created before I can move on into the new year as a GM. Throughout my gaming career, I've mostly been a GM. I think I was under the assumption that I needed to be firmly and constantly at the helm again during my return to roleplaying. But my current gaming group has some folks that are willing and more-than-able to run games. I need to remind myself that I'm not that kid anymore, the one that was the only person willing to be a GM.

I'm hoping that taking time to muse over the last two years will recharge my RPG batteries. I definitely don't want to keep pushing myself when it comes to being a GM, and risk becoming truly burnt out. I'm pretty excited to take a break and consider the lessons I've learned. I know that I came back to gaming with at least some assumptions and expectations, and I want to take time to sort through my headspace and perhaps purge some of the detritus.

I hope that I will come out of this self-reflection period a better GM and a stronger roleplayer in general, with a clearer picture of what I want out of the hobby. This will hopefully include becoming a better RPG blogger!

To one and all, I hope you've had a great year of roleplaying, and may you have more RPG goodness in 2013!