To (mis)quote Edmund Burke...

All that is necessary for the triumph of douchebaggery is that compassionate gamers type nothing.

I'm not into flame wars, but I'm also not into sitting back while some petty Internet tyrant lounges in his ivory tower and belittles people. Especially when the people being belittled are those that I respect.

'Nuff said. I'm over the latest example of such douchery in our little corner of the blogosphere. But never fear, I always keep my eyes peeled.

UPDATE: True to form, THAT GUY created a post speaking of/to yours truly. He calls it "DRAMA!" I would call it "He's overestimating his effect on me, by far."

I'm not angry in the least. Being angry would imply that I have an emotional attachment to the man. Not at all. What I do feel attached to is our community here in the gaming blogosphere. And when someone starts flinging their bad attitude around with impunity, I feel compelled to speak out. 'Nuff said.

And since it may never see the light of day, here's my comment on his "Drama" post:

You are overthinking all of this, man. I'm just an average guy. No grand conspiracy against you. Note that I haven't commented at all on your blog for some time now. It's only when you start attacking people and getting up on your proverbial high horse that I feel I should speak up.

If you don't want to hear a different opinion about your behavior, why are you out here on the Internet? You can't expect to get all pissy and abuse people verbally and not take some shit for it, right? You shouldn't be surprised when you get bile for bile.

I just call it like I see it. Is there really any denying that you come off pretty harsh on people, and perhaps needlessly so? That you browbeat others, and you go off at the slightest provocation? Am I wrong?

And it's just baffling. It's so easy to be nice to other people. And nice doesn't mean you're a pushover. You can still have strong opinions, stand firm for your beliefs, and be a nice guy.

Doesn't all that bile choke you, ever? I don't care if it's real or just some act you put on, that vitriol is not good for you or for the community. That's all I've ever said to you, and all that I will ever say. Just give people a break. I'm not trying to get you to leave the blog community. That's an impossibility, and nor would I want it. I feel you do have a lot to offer the community.

All your literary allusions and purple prose are not needed in this instance, my friend. Spend that energy being a cheery chap once in a while. It might do you wonders.

P.S. And can we stop assuming that I'm "miserable," I hate my life, I'm not happy with my gaming situation, I'm always angry, and all the other stuff you're assuming? This is all just obfuscation on your part to steer the conversation away from your bad attitude. You don't know anything about me, as I don't know anything about your real, non-Internet self.

All I'm talking about is how you come across on your blog, man. You just come across as a bully, or whiny. Or some combination of the two. That's all. It baffles me why people put up with your crap out here.

I bequeath the Stick in the Mud scepter to...

King Nothing. And guess what, he's disappointed. Ruh roh! Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair.

This one's for you, Your Majesty:

The Ultimate Non-Stick in the Mud is...

Alexis Smolensk. Thanks for this. It was great to see the real person behind the huge volume of words written on that blog. For me, this proves that Alexis is more than just the curmudgeon he makes himself out to be on the blog. It was a bold stroke on his part, if you ask me. He came across as pretty down-to-earth, and that was refreshing. Changed my whole perspective on the guy, I have to say. It was conversational in tone and I think that's what stood out most for me.

Kudos to you, sir. You're definitely a braver soul than I. Major props, and happy gaming!

Alexis = NON-Stick in the Mud?!

If it can be believed, Alexis has posted one of his rare examples of a (mostly) non-abusive (though he does use the term "idiot") and thoughtful post! I just know he's not really the arrogant, sadistic, grumpy guss he makes himself out to be!

My issue with Alexis is that he has some great insights, and his style of writing is interesting, but his delivery is so (artificially?) volatile that (I feel) he's doing himself a disservice. More people would benefit from his insight if he just laid off the schtick a bit. If you read some of the posts I've written about his blog, you'll see people who comment that they used to read his stuff until the ire got to be too much. It's a shame, because I believe he has so much to offer.

I think he's like the Christian Bale character in the film The Prestige. The character had to live a secret double life in order to maintain the illusion that he was a great magician. He could never let go and just be his true self, lest his true persona/life be revealed (thus spoiling the secret of his greatest illusion).

Alexis, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. This Non-Stick in the Mud Award is for you!

P.S. Alexis actually allowed a comment from me to appear on the post! Progress. But when I tried to reply to his true-to-form riposte, it has sadly not appeared (at this time). I guess he's trying to use selective comment approval to skew the discussion in his favor. Here's what I said back to him:

"I salute you, sir, for maintaining character, as always. I don't think I'm any more abusive or insulting than any of your writings here, if you ask me. But come now, didn't your post state that you think the internet is a "wonderful" place, warts and all? And listen, disagreement doesn't need to equal disrespect. I may be harsh sometimes, but that's because I am human, and therefore faulty. But perhaps I am only returning the ire that you project outward? Food for thought. And don't kid yourself by thinking that I sit around waiting for your posts. I just happen to keep an eye on the blogs I follow, that's all. No need to look for a stalker, now."

P.P.S. And I wasn't being "patronizing" (as Alexis thinks) when I wrote this comment on his post (which he approved):

"This was really a great post, and I'm not being sarcastic. Thanks for this. And no, I don't expect to change you when I post about you. I just feel the need to, as you say, call out the stupid things people say. But in your case, it's not usually stupid. Rather, it seems to be strangely angry and sadistic, and I post because I want to ask you "why?" Why present yourself this way? I try to keep reminding myself that you probably mean well, you want to give the hobby some tough love, and that this is part of a persona you wish to project (i.e. the curmudgeonly wise man?). But I still am so curious and confused as to why you choose to be so damned irascible! Thanks again, this was really good stuff, and a breath of fresh air from the Tao."

Bottom line: I do love the repartee that I share with the gentleman! May the verbal fencing never cease!

The return of the Stick in the Mud Award

Hello everyone. It seems a certain someone doesn't like you again. Or rather, doesn't ever like you. Or rather, has never liked you. Ever. Even if you're a consistent "gentle reader." As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that a certain someone actually hates consistent readers more than those who disagree with this certain someone's perennially sadistic tone. Or at least, that's what I'm getting out of the post to which I've provided the link above.

Congrats to that certain someone, for once again earning the Stick in the Mud Award. Keep on telling us we're all idiots, please (especially your loyal readers, I'm sure they appreciate it). Keep on getting closer to a cardiac event due to ranting over a hobby, which like all hobbies should probably be fun. I once again thank all the gods that ever existed that a certain someone doesn't have any control whatsoever over the rest of the RPG community's ability to enjoy the games we play. Certain Someone, this Mud's for you!

And the NON-Stick in the Mud of the Week Award goes to...

Chris at Classic RPG Realms. In this post he laments not being able to continue to run a local school gaming club for kids. Now here's a person who's not sitting in some ivory tower, simply spouting tired and mean-spirited rhetoric (do I have to mention names of usual suspects at this point?). Here's a person who has been fighting the good fight, getting out and making an effort to game. And not only actually gaming, but spreading the gaming goodness to a new generation! That's more than commendable in my book. By doing what he's been doing, he is accomplishing so much more than any pontificating loud-mouth could ever hope to achieve when it comes to advancing the hobby.

So all of the above is the reason why I've given Chris the first-ever NON-Stick in the Mud of the Week Award (I know, I haven't actually been doing this award thing every week. Mea culpa). Keep up the good work, Chris, and get some well-deserved rest!

And the Stick in the Mud of the Week Award goes to...

Alexis at Tao of D&D. In this post he derides the recent "Build a Better GM" trend that hit the RPG blogosphere. He seems to have the impression that it was a fruitless effort. Or at least that's what I took from reading the post. I encourage everyone to read it and let me know what you think.

I for one felt the Build a Better GM meme was very enlightening, as it gave many perspectives on the art of running roleplaying games. It gave some food for thought, advice, and tips. But unlike Alexis, I didn't think anyone was trying to define in stone what makes "the perfect GM."

I don't understand this guy at all. Who spends so much time being so...angry? Standoffish? Curmudgeonly? Whatever you want to call it, I just can't fathom why someone would want to waste precious moments of life being so downright grumpy about a hobby. Being a grognard is one thing. But being Alexis is something entirely different.

In the past, I've tried to communicate with Alexis in what I thought to be a rational manner, questioning his particular scathing approach to RPG blogging. For my desire to understand more of his motivations and perhaps offer a different viewpoint, I've been "permabanned." He pretty much won't let any of my comments on his posts see the light of day. In fact, I take credit for his switch to moderating comments. So, in light of my inability to comment on his blog directly, I've decided to comment about his posts on my own blog. As Alexis might say, "My house, my rules."

(By the way, regarding the standoffish "my house, my rules, I can do whatever I want" approach to blogging: when you invite someone into your home, do you slap them in the face when they compliment your wallpaper? Just because you own a "domain," be it a home or a blog, doesn't necessarily mean that you have carte blanche to lash out at "guests" and be rude to them, even those guests that disagree with you. If you want to consider a blog to be a virtual house, then what about the ancient tradition of hospitality? Let me put things another way: I bet Gary Heidnik was a big believer in "my house, my rules, I can do whatever I want.")

On another level, I don't understand why so many people put up with his attitude. There are so many people who comment on his blog that he, in turn, berates. It's like going to a "wise man" (and I'm nowhere near actually considering Alexis a wise man) in order to obtain wisdom and being verbally abused at the same time.

Why do I care? I guess I keep expecting there to be a bottom to Alexis' well of disdain. I check in once in a while to see what vitriol he's spouting, and he never fails to deliver. I also think that the guy has a lot of good stuff to offer the blogosphere, but he wraps it in such a noxious package. Thus, there's also a failed opportunity here, in my opinion.

Isn't one of the myriad reasons we blog to connect with our fellows and share thoughts and celebrate our hobby together? But wherever humans gather, there are those who seek to deride for the sake of derision.

He's given tidbits of information about his motivations, and I feel like he's an incredibly intelligent person with a lot of personal pain from his past. So he's no longer much of a conundrum for me, I suppose. I guess I'm just confused why someone would take what most would consider a positive thing (sharing opinions/advice regarding GMing) and see it as something ultimately futile. Like Raistlin's hourglass eyes, which doomed him to see the decay in all things...

I guess everything truly is a matter of perception.

Alexis has stated that I seek to "change" him. That's not true at all. I wouldn't presume to try such a thing. Rather, my eternal statement to him is this: you don't like something in the blogosphere, so be it. But that doesn't mean you are better or smarter than the rest of us who do like it. And it definitely does not mean you are the arbiter of what is, and what is not, a worthwhile topic.

UPDATE: Alexis posted a "rebuttal" to this post, and someone commented "i would rather have a person be harsh and honest then nice and lie about what he truly thinks of things."

To this I ask: why do "harsh" and "honest" need to go together? Can't you be "nice" and "honest"? Is that's what becoming part of our culture, a belief that you have to be harsh to be honest? That's really depressing, if it has any truth to it.