Forever unto the breach, dear friends...

Sorry, I haven't been around. But it's for all the right reasons. My roleplaying card is constantly filled, these days.

I started Once More Unto the Breach to be a vehicle for, and chronicle of, my personal journey back to roleplaying after a hiatus from the hobby. Finding the OSR and all the associated blogs back around 2009 was (as cliche as it sounds) a revelation for me. Through a simple web search, I found a path forward to where I am today, part of a thriving community of gamers that keeps me busy and happy!

So, I guess you could say I am well and truly beyond the breach! And for that, I am grateful! I'm definitely going to keep Once More Unto the Breach up and running, but I'm going to be focusing my energies on my new site, Silverbeard Games. It's where I'm going to be posting about what I'm running and creating in the RPG realm. It's also where I'll talk about the people I meet along the way.

I've grown old(er) in pursuit of this pastime of ours, folks. My beard has indeed become silver, but my enthusiasm for roleplaying has only grown.

Thanks to all of you who have been my companions from back when this blog started out. It's been fun, and it's only getting better! Hope to see you at the table! Game on!  

Reflections on the Occasion of my 500th Post

Well, here I am at 500 posts.

 

Hmm, I'm feeling rather underwhelmed with myself. I mean, my blog's been around for nearly four years now (my first post was on June 30, 2010) and I've just now hit 500 posts? Is that...well, not so great? I'm not sure where my output falls among all RPG blogosphere offerings, but from what I've seen out there I'm more prolific than some and less prolific than most. At least, that's my estimation.

 

I'm definitely nowhere near the 4,000-plus posts that Erik Tenkar has under his belt! He's been posting for about a year longer than me (May 31, 2009), but his output has been growing exponentially ever since. The man is a machine!

Now, I'm not sure about what Tenkar's plans were from the start of his blogging career, but mine were never all that gonzo. My intention has always been that blogging about my return to roleplaying after a long hiatus was always going to be secondary to actual roleplaying. And I've pretty much stuck to that formula. I created this blog to reach out to like-minded folks, in order to read their stories and share my own.

 

Still, there have definitely been times when I've felt a desire to be a more active contributor to the blogosphere in terms of reviews of products/fiction, new monsters/spells/magic items, discussion of rules variants, generating conversations topics, etc. I've done a wee tiny bit of all the aforementioned, but nowhere near as much as some of the other bloggers out there.

 

Oh well. Once again, I've been more concerned with gaming than blogging. Over the last few years, I've definitely roleplayed a good amount. Except as of late, with my current return to a near-hiatus from roleplaying. With the exception of the occasional "pick-up game" here and there, I'm no longer playing on a regular basis. I've discussed the reasons for my current situation.

 

But I'm still feeling the RPG itch. I feel like I still need an outlet. Thus my continued use of the blog...and, as I said, the occasional pick-up game. But these days, of necessity, I'm a player and not a GM. Which is always strange to me, because I've mostly been a GM over the years. But I'll take what I can get!

 

To me, how I'm feeling confirms once again that gaming is in my blood. It's a part of my make-up, my psyche. It was ingrained in me during my formative years, bound into my heart and soul. Stepping away from the table years ago was a denial of a part of myself, in many ways.

 

 

These days, I'm trying to trumpet the virtues of roleplaying whenever I can. I'm going more and more public with my love of the hobby, and trying to incorporate it into my new endeavors in the realm of personal development coaching. I'm still searching for my niche, so to speak. But I'm getting closer all the time.

 

Bottom line: I don't think I'll ever truly step away from gaming again, at least not for the span of a decade (as I've done in the past). When I look back, I was definitely not as happy as I could have been during those years I wasn't roleplaying. Trust me on that one. All that pent-up imagination didn't do me any good at all. I don't want to do that ever again, to myself or others around me. Sure, I have other creative outlets. But none so fulfilling as being at the roleplaying table.

 

So, anyway, here's to my next 500 posts. I hope you've enjoyed my presence here on the blogosphere so far. I know I've enjoyed yours, from the friendly to the cantankerous. It's my hope that you'll keep reading, and that I'll keep being worthy of your time.

In Defense of Dungeons & Dragons

 

Last month, I wrote a post that gave a hint as to what I've been doing instead of roleplaying these days: I'm working on my burgeoning life as a personal development coach. It's something I've already been doing for most of my life. I've just decided to make it "official."

 

And I've been giving props to my roleplaying career for shaping the well-rounded, responsible adult I am today. Here's my most direct reference yet (on my personal development blog) to D&D and its influence on me and the world beyond the gaming table:

 

In Defense of Dungeons & Dragons

 

That post actually started as a speech I gave at my Toastmasters club. I hope to give this speech in other venues in the future. I feel honored to add my voice to the chorus of folks who have put D&D in the spotlight this year, the 40th anniversary of the grand old game.

 

I welcome your feedback, and your continued readership, of both my blogs. If you like my other blog, please consider following me there, and keep checking in on me!

My RPG Personal Profile

 

To start the new year off, I've decided to *GASP* jump late onto a certain bandwagon started by (I think) Tim Brannan over at The Other Side blog. Or maybe it started on Monsters & Manuals. Oh well. Without any ado, here's my personal RPG profile:

 

I'm currently running: Nothing. As anyone who's read this blog of late should know, I'm taking a bit of a break from actual play in order to work on some big old dreams, pertaining to a new career. A different sort of adventure, as it were. But the blog is going to be an outlet for my gaming fantasies. That sounded weird, now that I re-read that. ;-)

 

Anyway, over the past few years I've run campaigns of varying lengths in the Forgotten Realms, Greyhawk, and even a bit in Rob Conley's Points of Light setting. The rules I've primarily used were Castles & Crusades and Labyrinth Lord.

I would especially like to play or run: I would like to run some steampunk or cyberpunk action someday, probably using Savage Worlds. Then there's the possibility of using my shiny new Lords of Gossamer & Shadow book to run a diceless RPG game in the grand tradition of Amber Diceless!

...but I would also try: WotC's "next" version of D&D! It's a big event this coming year, no one should be able to deny that. Whether or not you see this 40th anniversary D&D event as a big blessing or a big apocalypse is another matter...I for one am remaining optimistic, though my readings of the playtest packet find me uninterested in using the new rules to run games.

 

I live in: In South Jersey, in the shadow of Philadelphia!

 

Two or three well-known RPG products other people made that I like: The Five Ancient Kingdoms RPG created by Jonathan Becker of B/X Blackrazor fame (have to do a proper review of that someday), as well as his B/X Companion. Close to my heart is the Castles & Crusades Player's Handbook, with really brought me back to the table-top armed with an awesome set of rules.

 

Two or three novels I like: Neuromancer by William Gibson, Dune by Frank Herbert, The Gunslinger by Stephen King.

 

Two or three movies I like: Big Trouble in Little China, Mississippi Burning, Dead Poet's Society.

 

Best place to find me online: Right here on the old blog!

 

I will read almost anything on tabletop RPGs if it's: open-minded. If someone is being a grumbler about the hobby just because they don't want change, then I'm not interested.

 

I really do not want to hear about: How the "damned kids these days" don't play the game "right."

 

I think dead orc babies are: really a silly argument. BUT, this sorta ties into something I want to discuss coming up shortly. It's going to be related to an older version of D&D, a re-read of those older rules, and the question of heroism in connection with said older rules. Stay tuned.

 

Games I'm in are like (link to something): Pretty much this. Because my regular group gets up to some pretty inane antics. We aren't afraid of retreating expeditiously, and in general like to be very pragmatic...perhaps to a fault.

 

Free content I made for D&D is available: on this blog, though there's not too much of it I'm afraid. Probably the most significant would be my house rules.

 

There were a couple other items that I thought didn't apply to me, so they've been deleted. Anyway, enough with this silly, self-indulgent exercise that I've used to get my first post of 2014 out the door. Hope you all had a happy new year celebration, and we'll meet again soon!

30 Day D&D Challenge, Day 1: How You Got Started

Aww yeah, meme time! I KNOW, I'm a day late starting. Whatever. I'll do my Day 2 post today as well. Happy?

 

So, how I got started. Well, I've already written about that extensively in my testimonial. To be more precise, you can read about my early roleplaying years in the first post in that testimonial series. In reading other people's Day 1 posts, I'm feeling rather like a youngun, since I didn't really get started with RPGs until about 1987 or so. But please, if you are interested to know more about my roleplaying background, read the post mentioned above. And please let me know if  you're doing the challenge so I can read about your gamer origins!

Roleplaying & Me 2013: Resolutions

Alrighty, so, my first post in this two-parter encompassed some reflections on my current relationship with roleplaying. Now I want to go over what I'm planning on doing with regard to roleplaying over the course of the coming year.

I believe I've settled on Labyrinth Lord as the rules I want to use going forward. Based on what I know of my current self, I have come to the conclusion that I need to run a version of Classic D&D. It's what I  have the time to run; in other words, it's got the level of complexity I can deal with as a busy adult. In addition, it has the "characters as archetypes" feeling that I want. Ultimately, I believe it's the system that I can dedicate myself to "mastering." It is also available to players for free, or at a relatively small sum at the FLGS.

Just a note: I can't remember everything about what I liked as a kid, other than I was a RAW (rules-as-written) guy. The closest we came to rules tinkering in those days was a verbal agreement to ignore this or that rule in the book. We had so much time to memorize rules and ignored those that we didn't like, and we had time to remember the few-and-far-between unwritten house rules.

Speaking of house rules, I know that I like to keep them to a minimum, but there are some definite tweaks I want to incorporate. In particular, I'm really losing interest in Vancian magic as written. But I think I have a solution to that issue. I'll do a future post outlining said house rules.

 

Here's a list of other things I want to accomplish over the coming year:

• A series of posts outlining the style of my next campaign, and how I'm going to approach GMing going forward after my hiatus
• A purging of my assumptions about how much I know about RPGs, especially D&D. This will probably involve going back and reading the games with as much objectivity as I can muster...which could be a major undertaking. But it's a long time coming.
• I want to roleplay like a kid again...which will probably mean no detailed maps, no need to take tons of time to strategize and brood over detailed city diagrams, and other things I never worried about as a teenaged roleplayer.
• This is a big one: I am going to work on creating a campaign world. I've talked myself out of this in the last year or so, convincing myself I don't have the time. But I think this will help me get more of a creative outlet, as well as make me more invested in the campaign I will run. I've found myself easily losing interest in published settings (Forgotten Realms, Greyhawk) as I run them. I'm excited about the prospect of building a world, something I haven't done for a long time.
• I am also determined to start crafting "substantive posts." I want to offer some stuff for people to use when roleplaying, such as new creatures, adventure hooks, etc.

So, those are my goals for 2013! Wish me luck!

Roleplaying & Me 2013: Reflections

Yes, I know it's February, so I guess I'm a bit behind schedule in discussing my RPG reflections and resolutions for the new year. But, all things in their time, eh?

Anyway, I've taken an indefinite hiatus from GMing. The good folks in my primary gaming group, who I game with on Wednesday nights at All Things Fun, have taken up the GM mantle. I am grateful to them, and have already become a player in their own campaigns. And I'm having a blast!

So, I'm allowing myself  some time to step back and recharge my GMing batteries. I've been going full-speed and full-bore since I returned to the table-top, in my usual all-or-nothing, obsessive approach to my interests. Yes, I usually exhaust myself because of this approach.

I need time to ruminate on what I've learned, and indeed relearned, about myself and my relationship with gaming. It's been almost two years since I got back to the table-top, and I realized that I came back with a lot of assumptions.

I also realized I need to flush those assumptions. I can benefit from my past experiences, but I need to start fresh and not assume, for instance, that my grasp and understanding of RPGs (D&D in particular) is complete or comprehensive. That's a big one: just because I have a history with D&D, I haven't actually read the books or played the game for many, many years. I need to get to a place where I can take a breath and read the old books with new eyes, with my assumptions left at the door.

Since I've gotten back into table-top RPGs, I've felt like I've been breaking off a lot of rust. I need to be easier on myself, I think. I always hold myself to a very high standard. After running and playing in several campaigns for over a year and a half, I think I've reached a deeper understanding, and discovered/rediscovered what my preferences are when it comes to running games. I've definitely solidified what I like and dislike when it comes to being a GM. Part of this is play style, and part is system preference.

Anyway, enough  rambling. My next post will outline my specific roleplaying resolutions for 2013.

End-of-YEAR Elmore Musings (12/31/12)

The horizon of a new year beckons...

There's no need to state how I'm thinking back on the year that was, and looking ahead to the year to come. Most of us are doing that right now, and of course I'm no different.

I missed last Friday's End-of-Week Elmore. So I figured I'd do it today, cleverly call it the End-of-YEAR Elmore, and use it as a vehicle for my New Year's Eve reflections.

With regard to my year in roleplaying, I'm happy with how 2012 went. It was the first full year of my return to roleplaying, and I had a grand old time. I've been going strong since I officially returned to the table-top RPG scene in April 2011. My gaming activities have been fairly regular, and nothing if not intense. By intense, I mean that roleplaying has been my primary pastime for nearly two years, and has consumed most of my spare time, whether it be actual play or planning for sessions.

Adult life being what it is these days, I'm feeling, as Bilbo Baggins said, "like butter scraped over too much bread." I suspect that I'm also feeling a bit "toasty" (see what I did there? ;-) from the intensity of my mental focus on roleplaying. I won't say that I'm officially "burnt out" when it comes to roleplaying in general. It definitely hasn't gotten to that point. Consider it more like the "good tired" that comes after a work-out.

I think I'm experiencing some self-induced exhaustion when it comes to being a GM. The source of this exhaustion rests squarely on my shoulders. When it comes to my recreational interests, I don't do things half-assed. I dive head-first into whatever has caught my fancy. I think I've been so driven to make the most of my return to gaming that I haven't let myself take a breath. I think I need to take a step back from my endeavors and give some thought to my table-top experiences so far.

It's probably time for me to reflect on where I've been, relinquish the reigns for a while, and savor the new RPG memories I've created before I can move on into the new year as a GM. Throughout my gaming career, I've mostly been a GM. I think I was under the assumption that I needed to be firmly and constantly at the helm again during my return to roleplaying. But my current gaming group has some folks that are willing and more-than-able to run games. I need to remind myself that I'm not that kid anymore, the one that was the only person willing to be a GM.

I'm hoping that taking time to muse over the last two years will recharge my RPG batteries. I definitely don't want to keep pushing myself when it comes to being a GM, and risk becoming truly burnt out. I'm pretty excited to take a break and consider the lessons I've learned. I know that I came back to gaming with at least some assumptions and expectations, and I want to take time to sort through my headspace and perhaps purge some of the detritus.

I hope that I will come out of this self-reflection period a better GM and a stronger roleplayer in general, with a clearer picture of what I want out of the hobby. This will hopefully include becoming a better RPG blogger!

To one and all, I hope you've had a great year of roleplaying, and may you have more RPG goodness in 2013!

Yes, this is my post about the Mayan calendar and December 21st, 2012

Party like it's 4 ahau 3 kankin!

 

I'm definitely not trying to brag about this (that would be really lame), but I remember a time when I was one of only a handful of people in my personal world who knew (or cared) about the whole "Mayan calendar-2012 apocalypse" thing. 

 

As a much younger man in the late 1990's, I first heard about the "end of the Mayan calendar in 2012" theory and the potential for a related apocalypse. Some close friends and I were watching a History Channel documentary, no doubt. At least, I think that's the case...I can't remember the details of the show, really. What I do remember is a dramatic moment where the narrator's voice became very ominous, and we were shown the grinding wheels of the Mayan calendar spinning rapidly. Then POW! It came to a sudden halt on a date that, we were told, corresponded with December 21st, 2012 on the Gregorian calendar.

 

This was the first time I'd ever heard of the supposed "end" of the Mayan calendar. Up until that point, I'd had a mild interest in Native American/Mesoamerican cultures. But that show really ramped up my fascination with Mesoamerican history in particular. Since then I've enjoyed reading about those cultures, in what was no doubt a way for me to fulfill my childhood dreams of getting into anthropology and/or archaeology (the first movie I can remember seeing in theaters was Raiders of the Lost Ark, if that tells you anything).

 

Anyway, time (of course) marched on and on. I finished college, got into the working world (hooray), got married, had kids...all that American dream stuff. I also lost my connection to roleplaying for a time, unfortunately.

 

Flash forward to today, and I'm sitting here feeling quite underwhelmed by the fact that the long-awaited date is only a few days away. And that makes me somewhat sad. I'm sorta puzzled by this underwhelmed feeling. Perhaps it stems from a notion that nothing spectacular is going to happen on Friday.

Over the years, I've witnessed the obscure notion put forth in that late 90's documentary grow exponentially into the "doomsday craze" it is today. I've watched countless other documentaries discuss the topic and posit theories ranging from apocalypse to some transformative event in human evolution/consciousness.

 

I never believed for a second that the world would end on 12/21/12. Yes, I've been one of those who entertained the thought, irrational or not, that the world would experience some mystical rebirth into...well, a time of greater harmony. Yes, yes, a bunch of hippy-dippy, New Age garbage, right? But a man can dream. If anything, I've enjoyed injecting that more positive possibility into the doomsday talk that usually comes up.

 

So anyway, here I find myself on the cusp of the event itself. It feels strange that the date is almost here. I guess, for me, this is one of those moments when you step back and go "whoa, where did all the time go?" You know, one of those stereotypical things that occurs to old(er) folks.

 

Of course, I know that the Mayan calendar in its entirety is not going to "end." Rather, it's the end of a roughly 400-year period called a "baktun." The 13th baktun is coming to an end, and the 14th baktun is going to begin. The date on the Mayan calendar is 4 ahau 3 kankin. Simple as that. 

 

So, how am I going to celebrate? At the very least, I plan on dancing around intermittently during the day on Friday and singing "Tonight we're gonna party like it's 4 ahau 3 kankin!" to the tune of Prince's "1999." And I'm going to let myself hope, for one more time, that something mystical will happen and humanity will transcend our numerous long-standing psychic afflictions such as hate, greed, etc. 

 

Either that, or our alien overlords will finally return.

Thanksgiving Holiday RPG Musings

As I’m sure most of us do, I’m thinking deeply about my life during the Thanksgiving holiday. In particular, I’m thinking about my relationship with RPGs. Perhaps my mind is dwelling on this subject because for several weeks now I have not been able to meet with my usual RPG group. So it may be that I’m suffering from withdrawal, and this is making me pine for all things roleplaying. So, here’s what’s on my mind:

 

I believe that I am prone to fits of RPG assumptions. I think since I returned to table-top RPGs in July 2010, I’ve been focusing on retroclones and other modern recreations of out-of-print versions of Dungeons & Dragons, rather than a re-exploration of the actual Dungeons & Dragons games.

I’ve been assuming that retroclones are the direction I MUST go with regard to my return to gaming. I’ve also been assuming, perhaps in a mostly unconscious way, that retroclones are “superior” to the original D&D versions. This applies in particular to Castles & Crusades, which I’ve allowed myself to believe is “better” than Advanced D&D.

 

I think I’m moving away from this superiority belief and moving toward deeper and deeper desire to engage in an in-depth study of the Basic/Advanced D&D editions. I’ve been assuming that I know those systems already. I’ve overestimated my understanding of those original rules. I may know the general concepts pretty well, but my knowledge of the finer aspects of D&D is sorely lacking.

I now think my focus on retroclones has been purely a matter of expediency. They are what’s in print and readily available, and they are often more streamlined that the original versions. This, as I’ve mentioned on this blog before, is no doubt due to my current life as a busy adult. When it comes to C&C, there’s also the fact that it makes some changes I like to the Advanced D&D classes, as well as a unified modern mechanic.

 

Of late, I’ve had a growing urge to study, of all things, Second Edition D&D. In the epilogue to my gamer testimonial, I professed a disdain for that edition. I have to say that this supposed disdain is probably based on a tendency to turn away from a pastime after inundating myself with said pastime. This is especially true when it comes to me and RPGs. I think I just immerse myself so deeply in an activity that I burn myself out.

But this rejection of 2^nd Edition AD&D also comes from my weakness for novelty and perhaps a bit of attention deficit disorder. I’m not just talking about Gamer ADD, but just generalized ADD. I think my retroclone focus was based on a tendency I’ve always had to cling to a “newer is better” mentality/habit. I go through phases in life where I cannot focus well on things. But I also labored long under a tendency to assume that prior versions of D&D, or indeed D&D itself, is somehow “childish.” From reading other blogs, I don’t think I’m alone in this. There was a time when I left D&D behind and moved on to RPGs that I thought were more “adult,” such as Amber Diceless RPG and the White Wolf Storyteller games.

 

I know I’ve been rambling here, but this post is probably more for me to talk things out to myself rather than be a coherent read for others. However I would love to hear feedback from readers. To sum up: I’m going to stop assuming I have a deep understanding of the Basic and Advanced versions of D&D, and actually read up on them. I know I have limited time to do so, but I’m going to make the commitment. I’m also going to rethink my prejudice toward 2^nd Edition AD&D and give that system another chance. It is, after all, the version of D&D I played the most besides 1^st Edition AD&D.

Wish me luck as I delve into the depths of my RPG motivations!

In the Mind of a Mad Gamer

"Oh, and Game Master, just one more thing: love your campaign!"  

Perhaps the excessive heat the US has been suffering under has broken my brain. Perhaps seeing the bickering of my family over parental issues (that's all I'll say on the matter here) has broken my spirit. Whatever the cause(s), I've found my brain severely unfocused as of late. As a result, my mind has been spinning on all levels, and this includes my gaming life.

When I was young, my hobbies were a true escape from a tumultuous family life. I read books voraciously. I found solace in places like, well, Solace, the tree-top village in the Dragonlance Chronicles. Yes, reading was a hobby, and linked to that was a "hobby" of self-imposed isolation. To be hidden in the depths of a library, secluded among stout walls made of book shelves with a book in hand, was to be in paradise for a short time. I also liked to write fantasical stories, an interest that I'm sure I shared with many young people who enjoyed Dungeons & Dragons.

When I discovered Dungeons & Dragons, I was often in the role of Dungeon Master, as my enjoyment of crafting plots was the greatest among my childhood group. As with many of us, the game gave us a means to develop creatively and socially.

I suppose reading is still an escape for me, and roleplaying is still something of an escape and a creative outlet, as well as a great social event (I can't say enough about how much I enjoy being around my current group of players). Though now I'm escaping the sometimes onerous grind of adult responsibility/bullsh*t.

ANYway, to continue on from my recent post about self revelation, of late I've found myself feeling pulled in many directions with regard to what I want to run as a game master. I feel really upset at myself for putting my still-young Labyrinth Lord game on hold. I didn't want to do that to my players. But I also had to be true to myself with regard to the fact that I felt unfulfilled with what I was running.

After a lot of rumination on the more nebulous aspects of my feelings, I think I've reached some clarity on things. I suppose not many people out there will be interested in hearing a 30-something man go on and on about roleplaying woes, but this is more for my own sanity, I think. I need to lay out what's on my mind in some organized form. I hope this will alleviate the swirling miasma of Gamer ADD. I've been inspired by Chris at Classic RPG Realms, who isn't afraid to talk out his struggles regarding what system to use.

Again, I consider anything with D&D "DNA" to be D&D wearing a mask. All that being said, here's my thought process as of right now:

Basic D&D

I have come to realize that I really want to run a game using actual Classic/Basic D&D rules. The retroclone thing wasn't cutting it. This came as something of a shock to me, as I'm a big fan of the 'clones. But I can no longer hide from myself the fact that I want to play "pure" if I'm going to play Basic D&D.

If I'm going to deal with the somewhat arcane mechanics of Basic D&D, then I want to be actually playing Basic D&D. That means using the original rulebooks. I have a copy of the Rules Cyclopedia that I'm dying to use, and I have PDFs of the individual Mentzer box sets that I can print out (or have done so already).

I'm not sure if this sounds shallow or bizarre, but yes, I want to use those original books. I don't want to use a retroclone. There, I said it. Again, I have nothing against the 'clones. They're great, and they're the impetus behind looking back to explore early D&D.

But I want to see that Larry Elmore/Terry Dykstra artwork when I'm flipping through the books. I want to see the fonts they used. I want the beholder in the monster section! I want that authentic D&D experience, which to me means using the original books.

And in using the original books, I want to stay as close to rules as written as I can. I really want to cut down my house rules and just do rulings on the fly as needed. I think the majority of my house rules will pertain to the classes, to give them a bit more "oomph."

Again, I'm feeling very guilty about putting my Labyrinth Lord game on hold after only a handful of sessions. I think I owe it to my group to give Basic more of a fair shot. But to me that means actually using those original rule books. Once more, I ask: is this insane?

I'll include the DCC RPG here, because it uses Basic's race-as-class feature and many other connections to Basic. I really like what Goodman Games has done to the D&D chassis. But I feel like it has more rules crunch than I'm willing to deal with at the moment. I have an urge to run some DCC RPG in the future, but not right now. I don't want to deal with the crunch.

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons

When it comes to Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, for some reason I currently have the opposite desire: I do NOT want to run a game using actual AD&D rules. I would much, much rather use Castles & Crusades. I'm not sure if this is a strange divergence from my "NEED PURE BASIC D&D!" feelings. But there you have it. At any rate, I have no desire right now to GM an AD&D/C&C game.

D&D Mine

Every once in a while I get the urge to make my own "edition" of D&D. Who in our blogosphere community hasn't felt that urge, right? I want to take the Swords & Wizardry clone as a foundation and put in all the tweaks I want and make my own game! I was inspired recently by JB at B/X Blackrazor when he proposed the D&D Mine concept.

But at the moment, this still is a case of "MUST PLAY PURE BASIC D&D!" eating at my brain. So this recurring urge is, once again, pushed aside.

Other RPGS

I really like Savage Worlds and the Dragon Age RPG. Their allure is that they offer an alternative to those games that are variations on D&D (i.e. those games that use mechanics very similar to D&D, either Basic or Advanced). And this appeals, because I have no deep-seated desire to immediately house rule either of these non-D&D RPGs, because they aren't D&D!

I think that I'm so familiar with the D&D rules that I can't help myself when it comes to house ruling. I'm sort of tired of this uncontrollable need on my part to endlessly tweak the D&D design. So, to me, the logical solution is to try another RPG for a while, and take a break from D&D in all its forms.

Yet my desire to play these games, strangely enough, makes me yearn for D&D. I'm really feeling insane...

Conclusion

I try to tell myself that I don't have a time limit on my new gaming life. I can run one sort of game/RPG for a while and then switch to another at some point down the road.

Ultimately, I'm sorry to subject my poor gaming group to the results of my scattered mind. I'm feeling like a very divided self, with my attention pulled in too many directions. This is frustrating to no end.

Any advice is very much appreciated.

Self Revelations: D&D, the OSR, and Me

I started this blog to chronicle my return to roleplaying. I really had no idea what my attempt to return to the fold would entail, or how successful I would be. As far as success is concerned, I've got a steady group of fellow gamers that I play with on a fairly regular basis. So I consider that a success.

Note, of course, that I had no idea there was an OSR when I came back to gaming within the last few years. When I first made my concerted effort to return to the table-top, my first exposure was with Pathfinder (which I found to be interesting but too crunchy for my tastes...I had never played 3E either, for the same crunchy reason). It was this lack of fulfillment with an in-print game that caused me to wonder about the out-of-print games from my past. I decided to dig around online for those older editions, and the rest is history...

Since I've come back to roleplaying, I think I've learned some things about my current gaming self. The following is very subject to change, however, as I'm nothing if not mutable:

The Old Rules
At the moment, I don't really want to go back and use the old D&D rules as written, be they Basic or Advanced D&D. Sure, I have strong feelings of nostalgia for those old rule sets. Like so many of us, it was my first RPG. There's a certain lure to the thought of playing actual D&D instead of a retroclone, but again, that's probably just a bit of "bad" nostalgia. In re-reading the Rules Cyclopedia, Moldvay/Cook/ Marsh B/X, and AD&D, I find myself balking at the "clunkyness" (or what I personally perceive/define as clunkyness) of the rules. I've also run into that balking feeling while running some Labyrinth Lord recently. So I've reached a point where my issues with the rules have overcome the gravitas, the prestige, the tradition, the whatever-you-want-to-call-it of playing actual D&D or those retroclones that cleave close to it (i.e. the "first wave" of clones = OSRIC, Swords & Wizardry, Labyrinth Lord).

I say all the above with not a little sadness, because I blame my current state of life as being the culprit behind my inability to grok the old rules. I can't seem to retain the little idiosyncrasies of the old rules. I know this seems lame, but it's a sad truth for me. I've got some personal things in my life that are taking up a fair bit of brain power of late. Maybe this ineptitude on my part will abate someday, but for now...

I have to admit, though, that I've felt a recent urge to get the original AD&D books, in order to add them back to my collection. The books my teenage group shared years ago were destroyed by a friend who became a hardcore born-again Christian. After so many years of not having the hallowed words of Gary Gygax in my library, I feel the need to own them once more.

I'm not sure why, even though I know how old school games are about rulings and not rules, that I just can't feel totally at peace with playing D&D rules as written OR with house rules that make them more to my tastes. Maybe it's some disillusionment with the rules, or being tired of the same old D&D rules appearing over and over in the vast number of OSR publications, or a combination of the two. Don't get me wrong, I love the wondrous variety of the OSR and believe it is a positive aspect of the movement. 

I think familiarity does breed contempt, and I've been around the D&D rules for so long that I'm probably getting a bit tired of them. I probably need a break from them. I can't seem to help the urge to tinker. I know, the prevailing thought process is that older D&D rules were pretty much made to be just guidelines, and made to be tinkered with. But I just don't have the stomach for too many house rules of late. Maybe it's my current time crunch that makes me get upset if I have to craft too many house rules. Granted, I don't think I've played with too many house rules, but still...I feel the need to find a game that doesn't give me the overwhelming urge to tweak. This feeling alone probably strips away a good portion of my OSR cred (if I ever had any).

The Rules with D&D DNA
Again, I've no urge to use the original D&D/AD&D rules in a current game. For my AD&D needs, I have Castles & Crusades. It is the game that had Gary's blessings as the successor to D&D, after all (at least, according to the Troll Lords, who were close to Gary before he passed).

Yes, the only version of AD&D I really dig is Castles & Crusades. It's a wonderful amalgam of 1E (classes, races, overall aesthetic) and 3.5 (more modern unified mechanic), with some new ideas/twists thrown in (example: rangers don't cast spells...that's awesome...never could stand spellcasting rangers) and an old-school mentality surrounding it.

The other game that's made a big impression on me is DCC RPG. I really like this "second generation" clone! I am definitely liking it more than the original/first wave of clones, and I know that statement may raise some hackles. I know, DCC is not supposed to be a clone, but come on folks...call a clone a clone. I'm not ready to actually run DCC RPG at the moment, but I have the itch (and some of those Zocchi dice as well).

Both of the games mentioned above use a much more unified mechanic than the old versions of D&D/AD&D. And these days, I'm loving me some unified mechanic. This is due to being busy with adult life, which leaves me with minimal brain space to use for storage of various mechanics. I know, lame, right? Oh well, it's my truth. And to thine own self be true.

The less I feel the need to house rule, the more I like the RPG. I do like to play with some minimal house rules for C&C (one sheet of paper front and back is my limit!), and DCC seems like a game I wouldn't want to house rule much at all.

But C&C and DCC have that D&D DNA, and of late that's bothered me. So I have to conclude that I'm having an issue with D&D, deep down.

Other Rules and New Rules
Lord knows that, over the years, I've played a bunch of other games that weren't D&D-based. I played a lot of Palladium (TMNT, Rifts, Heroes Unlimited, Ninjas & Superspies) and also Amber Diceless RPG. Most recently I've been playing Savage Worlds. So my experience with the other RPG possibilities out there is probably part of my current urge to look elsewhere. Look, I learned a lot about rulings not rules and other concepts favored by the OSR through my experience with a non-D&D game like Amber Diceless Roleplaying. With no dice and just four attributes, the ADRPG GM has to make a lot of rulings.

Bottom line: I'm really curious about newer, non-D&D based systems like Savage Worlds and Dragon Age. I feel the urge to break away from the D&D "hegemony"...at least for a while. These games also have unified mechanics (with Dragon Age going so far as only using the d6, rather than Savage World's use of the other polyhedrals we all know and love...I have to admit I'm going to miss all those other dice while we play Dragon Age).

I know there are a lot of OSR folks who clamor about player vs. character skill, and a system like Dragon Age can lend itself quite easily to players depending on the character stats and associated skill rolls. But I'm here to tell you that my thoughts towards character stats and skill rolls are also tied to my current gaming status. I'm a busy adult playing with busy adults. We don't have all the time we used to have in order to lean mostly on player skill and searching every cranny of a dungeon.

I guess you could say we don't have time to be incredibly clever. We have time to be somewhat clever. My players are very creative and come up with really inventive solutions to things, be they battles or negotiations with NPCs or solving puzzles. But if they sometimes want to lean on the dice mechanic, I'm not going to stop them. Because in our limited time we want the adventure to press forward, and not worry about exploring all the minutia that "pure" old school D&D play demands.

I do encourage a combination of player and character skill, a compromise if you will. These two roleplaying concepts don't need to be mutually exclusive. Player ideas improve dice roll success or eliminate the need for dice. I guess I am not purely of the OSR when it comes to mechanics, but I am when it comes to the style, the spirit. Not that labels matter, though. The gaming is what really matters.

Conclusion...For Now...
I'm not sure if I'm getting across all my feelings as clearly as I wanted, but I made an effort here. Mostly for my benefit, but I'm also wondering what others think. You may think I'm a cop out when it comes to the OSR, but again, I'm thinking that I'm more of an omnivorous gamer rather than just a consumer of the old ways. Maybe I'm not really an OSR gamer at heart. I don't know. Not that there's a strict membership guideline for the movement, right? ;-)

I'm not knocking those who want the pure OSR feeling/gameplay. I'm just realizing that I'm different...at least for the moment. Someday, I'm sure, I'll want to play C&C or DCC or maybe even Labyrinth Lord again. I think I just need some time away from the same rules I've been using for so many years. Hell, I might want to try my hand at original AD&D again. Who the heck knows, right? I'm nothing if not a sufferer of chronic Gamer ADD!

But for the time being, I talked to my group and they seem interested in me running some Dragon Age RPG. And I'm having a blast with my friend Bill's Savage World of Solomon Kane game. Both games may owe their existence to D&D (like all other RPGs), but they don't owe much in the way of mechanics. And I'm really, really liking that fact.

Wish me luck on this latest phase of my gaming life. Until we meet again, happy gaming!

Reflections on the Occasion of My 100th Post

Well, here’s my 100th post! Maybe not a huge milestone. Especially considering that my blog’s been around for about 11 months now. But I figured I’d celebrate the event. So, instead of waiting for June 30th (the actual one-year anniversary of Once More Unto the Breach!) to do a look back at the last year, I’ll take this opportunity to do so.

As stated in a recent post, I want to take a look at my progress over the last year as far as actual gaming is concerned, refocus on the purpose of my blog and consider what I might do differently going forward, and perhaps make some predictions on what the future may hold.

Year in Review

I started this blog with no real strong purpose or purposes behind it. I suppose many blogs are started in that way, actually. I knew I wanted to join in the discussion of this old-school renaissance I had discovered and with which I had become enamored. I shared my personal gaming history, as I had seen many others do. I knew that I wanted to tap into the community to perhaps find some like-minded folks and get some advice on how to finally return to the hobby. I feel that I have accomplished both of these things.

It’s been great sharing stories and experiences, learning more about the roots and history of D&D and roleplaying in general, and learning about the retroclones and other game systems not based on TSR’s products.

I’ve accomplished my goal of getting back into gaming. I’ve done some gaming with my old friends, but I’ve also had a “breakthrough” of sorts, and discovered that I can have roleplaying without my old group. It just took breaking out of my association with my old group and gaming, as the two had been interchangeable in my mind for decades. It also took finding the right people.

I tried Pathfinder but I realized that I am truly a rules-light and old-school-minded gamer. There were false starts other than my very brief Pathfinder stint, such as my attempt to return to play-by-chat/email gaming, which I had been doing with varying degrees of success since 2007. But I quickly discovered that I really wanted to get back to the physical tabletop.

I’ve explored the local gaming scene to the best of my abilities. There aren’t many FLGS’s in southern New Jersey. Due to a recent major change in my work situation, I found myself closer to All Things Fun! during the work week. ATF is, IMHO, the best FLGS in the area.

I went to my first gaming convention this year: TrollCon East. I might be tempted to try my hand at attending other cons in the future.

My present includes keeping the gaming going on Wednesday nights at All Things Fun! I’m playing in a great campaign there. And, after talking to the Wednesday night group, I’ve convinced them to let me run a game on alternating weeks! I’m planning on getting a Dragonlance campaign going, the first time I’ve ever tried to run a game on the world of Krynn. This is a campaign that’s about two decades in the making! No pressure, right?

Purpose and Refocus

I may not have known all of the reasons behind my desire to create a gaming blog when I started one, but I have a better idea of the purpose I want it to serve now. I want the blog to continue to serve as a means to share my gaming experiences with kindred spirits. I want to continue to read about other gamer’s experiences and find common ground. You’re all my support system. And I hope that I can also provide said support. We can help keep each other company in what can, paradoxically, be a lonely hobby. Yes, we may be surrounded by other gamers, but there are times when we find our pastime being viewed with copious misunderstanding and an almost institutionalized disdain. The existence of the many RPG blogs keeps me inspired. I hope you look forward to hearing more about my trials and travails as much as I look forward to hearing more about yours. So I’ll continue to share tales of my roleplaying sessions, on both sides of the GM’s screen.

All that being said, I have no illusions that my gaming life is all that interesting. Therefore, I hope to provide some more “useful” content, such as book and game reviews, new spells, magic items, thoughts on gaming “philosophy,” and more. Again, I’m presuming a lot here when I say “useful.” That remains to be seen. But yeah, like everyone else, I could be paying the JoeSky Tax more often.

The Future

So, like I said, I’m working on getting a Dragonlance campaign going with my new gaming group. And of course I look forward to more adventures in the City State of the Invincible Overlord! Bottom line, I am having an incredible time on Wednesday nights, and I hope that continues for many Wednesdays to come!

I’m a total Castles & Crusades believer. That being said, I do have to push aside the occasional bout of gamer ADD! I’ve found myself more and more interested in the Moldvay Basic and Expert sets, and by extension Labyrinth Lord. I am also enamored of the Core and Complete incarnations of Swords & Wizardry. This boils down to the fact that I intend on running some games using some combination of these rules. Maybe it’s because I’ve read so much goodness about how many people are having a great time with them.

A couple of the Wednesday Night C&C folks have told me more about Savage Worlds, and I find myself intrigued by that game system. It seems like a good set of rules to use if one wanted to run a game set in the Old West, or even a mythical version of the Old West. As a matter of fact, I’ve always been a huge fan of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series…

OK, I have to cut myself off there! In all, it’s been a great year all around! I look forward to what the next year may hold! As always, happy gaming!

For the Love of Dragonlance

I was originally going to write a post called “In Defense of Dragonlance,” and make my best attempt at crafting a manifesto of sorts. I imagined that I would, with one post, make a bold stand against all the supposed haters of that setting and sweep away their arguments in one fell swoop.

But I’ve thought better of all that. Mainly because I realized that I don’t really have any problems with what I’ve seen written about Dragonlance on gaming blogs. Specifically, a post entitled “How Dragonlance Ruined Everything” written by preeminent RPG sage James Maliszewski was going to be a particular target of my nascent ire. How dare he state such a thing?!

I took some time to reread his post, since I hadn’t read it in a long time. And I came to remember what I had forgotten: what James discusses in his post and what I feel about Dragonlance literally exist in two different realms.

James approaches the setting from a practical direction. The gist of his post, to try and simplify it for the sake of brevity (I encourage you to read it for yourself), is that Dragonlance set into motion some bad trends for Dungeons & Dragons. TSR used the setting to springboard into a direction that saw the game become less about sandbox play and more about creating “story,” in a negative sense. By “story” I think James is referring to the pitfall of railroading. Story here refers to a trend toward consciously trying to “force” a D&D campaign to make some sort of narrative sense from game session to game session. For James, the “story” of a roleplaying campaign should be something that one sees in retrospect, after many game sessions have passed and the players’ characters have gone through many adventures.

This is really no different from the process of writing a novel. The author must complete the writing of the novel before it truly becomes a cohesive story. One can also look at the events of the Lord of the Rings books. The novels that compose the series are actually the recounting of the quest to destroy the One Ring by Frodo Baggins as a sort of memoir. This memoir would eventually become a book called the Red Book of Westmarch in Frodo’s world (the Red Book also includes Bilbo’s own tale, There and Back Again, which in our world is The Hobbit).

So, to relate all of this to roleplaying, the exploits of player characters in a campaign are what become the story. One should never worry about creating a cohesive story while a campaign is being played.

So, I agree with James. I’ve looked through the original Dragonlance modules over the years and I have to say, I do not like how they were executed. Why were they so geared toward pregenerated characters, having players adhere for the most part to how events unfolded in the novels? There was no need to have done things that way. TSR could very well have published modules that, for instance, were set during the War of the Lance, but the players could be given the choice of what they wanted to do during the war. In other words, TSR could have made it clear that there was no need to adhere to the Dragonlance canon, and that they could create alternate events in the war in the usual organic way that RPG campaigns play out.

Yes, in reading James’ post again, I can’t say that I can refute any of his opinions. And actually, I wouldn’t want to do so. This is because my connection, my affection, for Dragonlance has nothing to do with the practical end of things. It has nothing to do with the modules, TSR’s potential use of the setting as a means of creating a “franchise” that would generate steady revenue, or the impact of the setting and the novels on the course of D&D’s evolution.

I can read James’ post and agree with it freely, because my approach to Dragonlance is purely emotional, rather than practical. You might even call it nostalgia, but I believe it’s the good kind of nostalgia. I’ve stated before on this blog my thoughts on how there are different types of nostalgia. Nostalgia that is an obsession with one’s long-lost youth is negative. Nostalgia that is a subtle and grounded cherishing of what once was is, I believe, positive, and may even give rise to a new perspective on the object of one’s nostalgia. This refreshed view of something from one’s past may even be a means of reinvigorating what was long lost from one’s life.

This is how I view rolelplaying in my current life. I had spent years mourning over how long it had been since I roleplayed. Once I gave that up, I was free to set aside thoughts of the hobby for some time, and then return to it again years later with a more positive attitude. It is this attitude that I am now fostering, and I see it as the energy behind my current return to the table-top.

So it really doesn’t matter to me whether or not Dragonlance had an adverse effect on D&D or the hobby as a whole. Indeed, as a side note, I’ve always thought of roleplaying as a grass roots effort at its heart. Once you get the rule books home from the store, you can choose to shut out the future developments of the game and its publisher and do what you want with it, with no ill effects. You don’t need to go to conventions, you don’t need to buy every splatbook, unless that’s how you approach the hobby.

What really matters to me is that Dragonlance novels were the start of my lifelong love affair with fantasy. Now, I know that some would argue that that is a sad fact. It would have been better if I had discovered Tolkien, Howard, Leiber, Vance, or any of the other luminaries that are credited with forging the foundations of fantasy literature as we now know it. I refute such a thought, because as I sit here today, I have far more books on my shelves that do not carry the Dragonlance logo. The novels by Weis and Hickman, and other Dragonlance authors, brought me into the genre. From there, I moved on to discover the classics as well as the writings of more recent generations of fantasy authors.

As I stated in my gamer testimonial on this blog, Stormblade by Nancy Varian Berberick was the first Dragonlance novel I read. It was the first fantasy novel I read. I remember feeling a strong connection to the genre from the very first chapter. I intend to reread the novel, having read it over 20 years ago. I don’t know if it will stand the test of time as far as its actual execution as a novel, but I know that that won’t change the place the book has in my personal evolution. I’ll always have a soft spot for it, and the other early Dragonlance novels.

I want to chronicle my rereading of Stormblade here on the blog, to give you my thoughts and impressions as I go through this seminal book in my personal gaming life.

I’ve also been feeling like I need to resurrect my plans to run a campaign set on the world of Krynn. But I will be sure not to railroad my players. I will be sure to tell any players who are well versed in the Dragonlance setting that they should not expect my campaign to adhere to the developments in the novels.

In all, I do feel it’s high time for me to revisit my Dragonlance roots. That means some rereading. And this rereading, like nostalgia, may lead to a new appreciation. And perhaps something more…

Musings on Entering my 35th Year...

Well met once again, all! This is your friendly neighborhood Drance, checking in with some thoughts. I turned 35 yesterday, and it staggered me to think that I started gaming more than 20 years ago! Now, granted, as anyone who's read my testimonial on this blog knows, many of the years between my first gaming experiences and my current life were spent NOT gaming (at least not table-top roleplaying). But still, I never totally forgot about roleplaying, and always had it on my mind somewhere, and always believed that someday I would return to realm fantasic and deadly!

All in all, it's been great getting back into table-top (and getting into play-by-chat) roleplaying! Thanks to all of you in the gaming blogosphere that I've come to know in the past year, for being there to share your thoughts and experiences! It's been a great ride so far!

Autumn is my favorite time of year, and October is my favorite month (natch!) I've been doing my usual October rituals, like reading my H.P. Lovecraft and other horror literature, watching horror flicks of varying caliber (heartily recommend Drag Me to Hell and Quarantine, but avoid Pulse...bleh!)

But, as usual, I digress...

I hope to post the recap of Legendary Domains Sesson 3 soon enough (spoiler: it was sort of a short session, not as much happened this time around).

Stay tuned, dudes and dudettes!

As always, happy gaming!

On Being a Con "Virgin"

I've never been to a gaming convention. Ever.

I've definitely never been to the fabled Gen Con, which is once again coming up.

In flipping through my old Dragon Magazines recently, I see all the old ads and lists of Cons. There just never seemed to be any good Cons near me in either New Jersey, Pennsylvania, or Delaware. Or maybe I wasn't looking in the right places. Who knows?

I was always ambivalent about Cons as well, so maybe I just didn't put enough effort into trying to find them and attend. Maybe I was just too introverted back in the day.

Does this reduce my gaming "cred"? Am I really missing out on something good?

Question: What do you think of Cons? Are they something that every gamer should try to attend at some point? Does it depend on the Con?

I, Gamer: Epilogue

In re-reading my testimonial, it is really glaring how, when I was a kid, I didn’t get any real exposure to the original versions of D&D (i.e. Classic D&D, the versions behind much of the old-school renaissance) before I picked up with 1st Edition AD&D.

Many of the blogs I read are written by guys who started gaming in the 70’s or early 80’s, so they started with OD&D/Classic (aka Basic) D&D. I started in the late 80’s, so my first exposure was to AD&D. I had just a vague impression that something had come before the game I was playing, but no real interest in “going backwards.”

However, I did eventually pick up the Rules Cyclopedia, but that was more out of curiosity and a desire to add the book to my collection (it was advertised/talked up big time in Dragon magazine of course, and I guess the hype worked on me). I never really had any intention of playing it, however.

And for good or ill, my personal Dungeons & Dragons “fate” was to begin my gaming career not long before the appearance of 2nd Edition. I tend to associate 2nd Edition with the decline of my first era of D&D gaming during my teenage years. It may just be my least favorite version of D&D...or maybe not. No, come to think of it, my least favorite version would have to be 4th Edition. More power to those who like 4E, but it's not for me. Like many, I was intrigued with the arrival of 2nd Edition’s numerous (perhaps TOO numerous) settings like Spelljammer, Ravenloft, Dark Sun, Planescape, and the rest. But I never really found these settings interesting enough to actually use them.

Yeah, 2nd Edition never really felt right. I never truly got comfortable with it, due to what I considered its unnecessary complexity, the move from the Monster Manual to the Monstrous Compendium, and what I considered to be some of the “lower-quality” artwork (I never was a fan of artist Tom Baxa, or at least the art he produced for 2E AD&D and especially the Dragon magazine of that era).

Anyway, this is all just more navel-gazing on my part, so I’ll stop rambling for now. Some of the stuff in this post will be fodder for other posts, for sure. Until then, game on!

I, Gamer: A Testimonial in Three Parts (3)

PART THE THIRD: How Drance Got His Game Back
(Ages 25 to the Present)

 

So, we arrive at my last post in my gaming testimonial. By the end of the second post in the series, I was a young adult in the post-9/11 years, and the terror attacks were a major catalyst in the cessation of most of my gaming activities. By the time I turned 25 I was also heading into a period of personal upheaval with regard to friendships, family relations, and especially my dealings with significant others that would come and go. This era in my life would last for years to come. I won’t go into the details of my baggage, of course. I’m sure you get the idea.

I say MOST of my gaming activities ceased, but I was actually still gaming in various ways. It was just face-to-face, table-top gaming that had totally ceased to exist in my life. And that was a significant source of sadness for me, a malaise that would wax and wane (but never truly leave me) as the years went by.

The primary way in which I got my game on after college was through RPG video games. These, of course, are a good way to get the RPG experience without the need to get together with anyone else. You can have adventures all by yourself. And there were some great games, especially the D&D games like the Baldur’s Gate and Icewind Dale series, and later Neverwinter Nights. But these games are a double-edged sword. It’s a great way to get that dose of adventuring you need, but it’s not really roleplaying in the pure sense. There’s no human interaction, and eventually it becomes a hollow experience. I know that some may argue that MMORPGs like Everquest and World of Warcraft combine video gaming with a “virtual” human touch, but I never saw the appeal of MMORPGs (I’ve heard a lot of horror stories, most focused around veteran players swindling “noobs”). Call me old-fashioned, or maybe just old.

And as I touched on briefly in my second post, I also got into board games and card games that—in greater or lesser ways—emulated some of the experience of roleplaying. Or I would try to inject some type of roleplaying into a game, with varying degrees of success. These games included the Game of Thrones board game from Fantasy Flight Games, Shadows Over Camelot by Days of Wonder, and a game I discovered called “Thieves Guild.” These did a bit to sate that roleplaying desire, but were never really that fulfilling.

Fantasy Flight Games in particular has a good number of board games and card games that seek to emulate the roleplaying experience (like Runebound and Descent) but the cost for these games is, more often than not, very high. Trust me, these games can be very tempting, because for the most part they are very well done with regard to mechanics, presentation, artwork, etc. But I wasn’t about to try to buy all these different games in order to emulate what I used to be able to do with just a couple of books, a few friends, and our imaginations.

It wasn’t until the late Fall/early Winter of 2006 that the urge to roleplay became overwhelming again. But what was I to do? I decided to search the Web for an outlet.

That’s when I came across play-by-email gaming (PBEM). It was a eureka moment, and I set to work almost immediately to get in on the action. It was this decision that truly set me on the path back to the table-top.

I had of course, over the years, seen advertisements in places like Dragon magazine for play-by-mail games from companies like Flying Buffalo. But these never appealed to me in the slightest. The potential time delay between actions/rounds seemed hideous, to say the least. Call me a fiend for instant gratification if you must, but I really would need more immediacy for my gaming experience.

But play-by-email seemed to me the perfect way to ease myself back into roleplaying. It might not be instantaneous, but it would be a heck of a lot faster than play-by-snail mail. I could conduct PBEM games at a leisurely pace, which appealed to me because I knew I would be extremely rusty as a GM and would not yet be able to handle the much faster/instantaneous pace of a table-top game. And technically the “game session” would never end, because the emails from players could arrive at any time of day, seven days a week. There would be no need to get players together in one place at the same time. I didn’t need to stick to my circle of old friends anymore. And the Internet was a good buffer between me and the strangers I would be soliciting to play in my games.

All of this appealed to me…for the time being.

So in January of 2007 I became a DM again for the first time in ages. The campaign was called Wanderers of Faerûn (WoF), and obviously it was set in the Forgotten Realms, my favorite official campaign world. I decided to set the game up as a Yahoo group.

What might be surprising is that for the campaign’s rule set I used a modified version of the Amber Diceless RPG rules. I may have been ready to run a Dungeons & Dragons campaign, but I wasn’t quite ready to actually use a Dungeons & Dragons rule set!

I advertised the game on the Yahoo group called RPG Player Sanctuary and found a great group of players from across the country. I also managed to get a couple old friends to join the game, both of whom were a part of my earliest D&D experiences. This included my old friend Pat, who originally introduced me to the game. This fact in particular made it seem as if things had come full circle in my gaming life.

The WoF campaign went on for over a year, and I can’t describe to you how great it felt to be back in the DM saddle. The game had some great moments, and my six players all did a fantastic job of making our shared adventures thrilling. And my personal roleplaying itch was well and truly scratched.

But by the beginning of 2008 I could already tell things were slipping into oblivion. Certain players were posting less and less. Those who did post were sometimes resorting to one to two sentence posts. Finally, I decided to call it quits in March 2008, and WoF breathed its last.

I tried to start another game in May of that year, using some of the players from WoF, but that second attempt was far less successful, sputtering along for nine months (and we averaged less than 10 posts per month). I realized I was done with PBEM, and this was disheartening. I had put all my hopes into that particular basket, and I was back where I started again: no immediate roleplaying prospects.

Life events swept me up again for the rest of the year. My daughter had been born in 2006, and she hit the feared second year of human life right about the time my son was born in 2008. For the next year and a half, during my free time, I would sometimes flip through my game books and dream of roleplaying. From mid-2008 right up to the present also saw a severe diminishment in my board and card gaming endeavors as well, due to increasing schedule conflicts among my circle of friends. And I hadn’t played a computer RPG in years. I was in danger of slipping into a new period of gaming deprivation…

Which leads me to the dawn of 2010.

The reason my PBEM game used an Amber Diceless rules set was because I wanted a “rules light” game. But towards the end of the PBEM campaign I felt the diceless system was TOO light. I wanted just a bit more crunch to my rules.

Wizards of the Coast had recently released 4th Edition, but I had no interest in the game for many reasons. Taking a look at the rule books, I just didn’t like the feel of the new rules. I also didn’t like the art for the most part, as shallow as that might be. In addition, it wasn’t economically feasible for me to buy the new edition’s books. I had a ton of other gaming stuff at my disposal already. And irrational as it may seem, I was sort of angry at Wizards of the Coast, who seemed more and more interested in the bottom line (especially since they were bought out by Hasbro) than in the legacy of D&D. They had changed their website, requiring users to pay to access information that had been free during the 3.0-3.5 years. I also had bad feelings towards WotC and Paizo for killing my beloved Dragon magazine.

So, I looked at my game book collection for inspiration. I had the three core books of D&D 3.5, which I had bought years before on a lark, during a time when I had gotten curious about what D&D was like in the 21st century. And it was too much crunch.

Sometime in 2008 I had scored a major find on the Web: a PDF of pretty much all the 2nd Edition books (for the life of me I can’t remember where I found it). So I looked into that, but again, it all seemed overwhelming.

Within the last year or so I had also remembered that my buddy Pat had some of our group’s old D&D stuff. Most of that old material had disappeared over the years, but I remembered that he had our copy of the Rules Cyclopedia (which we had bought but never played). I paid him a visit and picked up the Cyclopedia and whatever other random old D&D materials he had. But for some reason I even found myself overwhelmed by the Cyclopedia. Perhaps it was the small type and the sheer volume of stuff it covered, but even this “simpler” version of D&D seemed beyond me.

I started to get frustrated with myself. What the heck was I looking for?

In despair I turned back to the Web, and that’s when I found the old-school renaissance. I started reading blogs about the subject. And I learned that people were resurrecting the old rules and republishing them in new packages. And most of these "new-old" games, these so-called "retro-clones," were available for FREE. I was instantly intrigued.

So started a personal quest to find the right rules for my return to the GM’s chair! I began to refresh my memory about Original/Basic D&D (which I never really played, having gotten my start with AD&D 1st Edition and moving on to 2nd Edition) and delved into the retro-clones. I really seemed to focus on Swords & Wizardry, but after a time it seemed TOO simple. It took me a while to really get back into the mindset of old-school D&D, where there weren’t rules for everything and there were no feats, skills, and the other stuff that had been added into the game since 2nd Edition (reading Matt Finch’s Old School Primer helped out a lot).

So I began attempting to house-rule Swords & Wizardry into my own “perfect” rule set. And I spent a lot of time on this. I made several attempts, and got fairly far each time. But I discovered that I didn't have the time to really do such an effort justice, with all the adult responsibilities of my life. I just didn't have the time I would need, like I did when I was in my teens (and even most of my 20s for that matter). It was a tough fact to confront, but then I realized that I could just search through all the great games people were resurrecting/ producing and settle on one that most closely fit what I wanted in a game. And believe me, I studied them all: Labyrinth Lord, OSRIC, Basic Fantasy, even Microlite74 and its ilk.

It turns out that I would settled on a little game called Castles & Crusades for the game I want to run. I know that it's not really a retro-clone (I think). But I feel like, for what I want to do as a dungeon master/game master/referee/castle keeper/whatever, it's the “D&D-esque” game that will allow me to do the least amount of house ruling as possible. So I can focus on game prep and actual gaming. I feel like C&C is "rules light" enough (or I can make it so) and yet has some aspects of more recent versions of D&D (3.0-3.5) that makes it unique. The rumor that it had the involvement/blessing of Mr. Gygax himself is a bonus.

At any rate, I am just happy to have finally settled on a game!

At the same time, I put out a call on the Web (through good old RPG Player Sanctuary) about my desire to meet up with new gamers, since all my old gaming pals had scattered to the four winds. That’s right, I finally overcame my trepidation about playing table-top D&D with strangers. I was at last ready to break away from my association of D&D with just gaming with old friends. Anyway, I was contacted by a guy who I had spoken to briefly in the last year or so with regard to PBEM. He asked if I was interested in joining one of his Pathfinder games, and I've pretty much agreed to do so. And I am very excited about the opportunity. Now, would I ever want to run a Pathfinder game? Probably not. As a GM I know that I want to run something like the older editions of D&D. But damn it, I am itching to get back into the gaming scene, and therefore I have leapt at the chance to join a gaming group. Even if it means I will be playing a more recent edition. Which is more than fine by me.

So there you have it! Writing this testimonial has really been a good experience for me. I’ve been able to finally reflect on my own personal gaming history, and it’s been more of a revelation that I first imagined it would be. Sorry for being so damned verbose, and I hope this doesn't seem too incoherent.

And of course, to those of you who read this, please feel free to share tales of your own gaming histories.

Thanks for reading! And don't forget to read the Epilogue!

P.S. My newfound determination to find new people to game with may even extend to board and card games. Stay tuned…

I, Gamer: A Testimonial in Three Parts (2)

PART THE SECOND: Long Game’s Journey into Night (Ages 19 to 25)

So, you’re back! I guess the prospect of reading some guy’s sob story didn’t scare you off? Good! Sorry it’s taken me a few days to post this second part. I know all my readers were waiting with bated breath ;-). Let’s proceed, shall we?

To briefly recap my first post in the series, ages 13 through 19 were the years of my original foray into Dungeons and Dragons. A scant two years (13-15) were entirely dedicated to 1st edition AD&D, and I loved every minute of it. From 15 to 19 I began to play other RPGs (and moved on to 2nd edition D&D), and slowly became disillusioned with Dungeons and Dragons. We return to the story during my 19th year:

So, I began my college career in 1994, and for a short while roleplaying of any kind was on the back burner. I did indeed enjoy myself in college, academically and socially. It was a great time all around. I won’t bore you with the non-gaming details.

I was still in my first year of college when the roleplaying itch returned. How did I scratch that itch, you ask? Well, over the course of the next four years there were two primary ways:

Amber Diceless Roleplaying: If you haven’t read Roger Zelazny’s Amber books, you are doing yourself a great disservice. I heartily recommend that you check them out! For my own part, I had never heard of them until a strange little game called Amber Diceless Roleplaying (ADRPG) came along. A roleplaying game that was DICELESS?! Who could fathom such a thing? It took a man named Erick Wujcik (who had also done work for Palladium Books) to come up with the idea, and he became to me a new Gary Gygax. Both men created games that I came to love and associate with good times in my life.

The Wujcik diceless concept seemed to me the epitome of elegance, something that could strip away all the heavy mechanics many other games sported, and only pure cooperative storytelling would be left behind! It would take a skilled GM and players to handle the “high art” of the Amber game. It was me and two other old friends who primarily explored Amber, and we did so with relish. I felt like some of the magic of my original gaming experiences had returned, from a source totally separate from D&D.

So, yes, I became something of a roleplaying snob. Amber became to me the “grown-up” version of roleplaying. D&D was for kids! I pretty much vowed that I would never play anything else but the ADRPG. Silly man…

Looking back, it was just important that we were having fun. And we did a good job of striking the delicate balance between GM/player connection/trust that is so necessary to ADRPG. If you haven’t played the game, it’s hard to describe…at least for me (I may not be smart enough anymore to explain it properly!). Suffice to say that it’s sort of rules-light and yet somehow “heavy” at the same time, if that makes any sense. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that it’s rules-light but cooperation-heavy. I’ve always felt that Amber would be nigh-impossible to play with anyone but close friends. But I’ve been known to be wrong more than once. It would be interesting to hear what other people who have played Amber think (hopefully someone will read this blog and respond! ;-)

Live Action Roleplaying (LARPing): Another type of what I—at the time—considered “roleplaying for grown-ups” was LARPing, which was a relatively new phenomenon back then. Yes, some of you are shuddering. But my decision to LARP was really born out of my surge of social interaction. And part of it was the novelty of getting up from the table and still roleplaying. I was involved in acting on stage during high school and on into college, so LARPing seemed a natural extension of that. I got into a good group of people who were LARPing Vampire: The Masquerade (I’m pretty sure White Wolf almost single-handedly created LARPing…or I may be wrong. Maybe someone can clarify the history for me. Maybe the people who do war reenactments were the first to LARP in a primitive way, and I am sure the people at the Society for Creative Anachronism and Markland have something to say about their role in all of this). All in all, I had some good times LARPing, but after a while it seemed to all become more about who was dating who and other real-world social intrigues rather than the gaming aspect. So I eventually moved away from that scene.

Actually, when I come to think of it, there was a pseudo-third way in which I got a roleplaying fix: board and card games. From my late teens until just a few years ago, myself and a handful of friends played a lot of these types of games, such as Risk (and later A Game of Thrones and Munchkin, but I wouldn’t get into these until years after college) and other (sometimes more obscure) games. Personally, I liked to interject some histrionics and at least a skeleton of a storyline when playing those types of games. But that can only take you so far.

And to some extent reading fantasy novels was another indirect outlet for the gaming itch (and still is to this day). As I read, I would think about how great a novel’s setting would be as a game world, or what a character’s stats would be, or how one would resolve an intricately described combat.

Some of you might be asking: What about computer-based RPGs? Well, when I was a kid in the 1980s and early 1990s it all came down to economics. We were able to afford Nintendo, so I did play a lot of Legend of Zelda and Dragon Warrior, and Shadowgate was a personal favorite. However, I missed out on all those great Ultima, D&D “gold box” games from SSI, and other such computer games because my family couldn’t afford a computer. The only exposure I got to these types of games was through the father of a friend, who played such games fanatically. This guy eventually built himself a replica of a medieval fantasy tavern as a gaming room, which he stocked with those replica swords and miniature suits of armor you can buy from catalogs. And the heart of this really cool room was his precious computer and a huge bookshelf of games. I would watch him play for hours sometimes, amazed at the graphics, but of course there wasn’t much opportunity for me to actually play. It wasn’t until after my mid-20s that I consistently had a computer of my own with which to game. I’ll talk more about me and computer RPGs in the final post in this series.

During my college years, there were times now and then that I did indeed think about table-top Dungeons and Dragons, remembering with fondness the golden years. By then D&D was already becoming inextricably bound with my memories of my youth, and I couldn’t separate one from the other. Indeed, these table-top thoughts and the accompanying nostalgia have never truly left me. They persist to this day.

By the time of my graduation from college, I had long before gotten out of LARPing, and my Amber table-top games were few and far between. Most gaming endeavors were drowned in my transition from college to “productive” member of society’s labor force. It was the late 90's, and the (then) dreaded millennium creeping up fast. I was filled with great expectations for the new century. I read scores of fantasy novels, and kept on dreaming…

But dreams can be so easily dashed by reality. I was 25 when September 11th happened, and my hopes for the new millennium were darkened by the billowing clouds of smoke rising from American soil. Suffice to say, RPGing wasn’t just on the back burner anymore. It seemed to be banished forever, a relic of my lost youth and innocence, never to be seen again. It seemed that there would be no more innocence anywhere ever again. For a while I looked on all my pastimes as frivolous, wondering if (especially after the terrorist attacks) I should assume some stereotypical form of adulthood and give up daydreaming about gaming.

I entered a personal gaming Dark Age for a time, where only fantasy novels sustained me. I was certain that nothing would ever be the same again. It turns out I was both correct and incorrect…

To Be Concluded in Part Three!