I've written here at least once (over a year ago) about how much I hate Mondays. And that hasn't changed. In fact, it's gotten worse, that hatred. When last I posted about my disdain for the first workday of the week, I was actually in a comfy and familiar (albeit lower paying) job that I had been at for years. If only my then-self knew how much more Mondays would come to suck.
If you've been following this here blog, you know that I was downsized in February of 2011. In a flurry of job-hunting activity, I found my current position in record time (was only out of work for three weeks or so). Well, I'm about seven months into the new gig, and I'm still struggling to get the hang of the gig. I've never worked for a firm the size of my current employer (thousands of employees versus the less-than three hundred that I used to work with). And the position comes with much more stress, speed, and responsibility than my last job.
I know, cry me a river, right? I try to be thankful that I have a job, when so many don't. I try to get ahead of the game at the new gig but haven't yet been able to get my head above water. Part of it might be a bit of a crisis within. I'm questioning if I want to keep on with the stress of my type of work (proposal writing) and am also asking myself if an entirely new vocation shouldn't be in my plans for the future.
To add insult to Monday injury, this morning I discovered that something horrible has happened to the Axe and Hammer blog that once belonged to fellow blogger Grendelwulf (who, ironically, commented on my "Me versus Monday" post that I linked to above). He was one of the first bloggers I interacted with when I got into the RPG blogging game. GW, I hope you are still out there and fighting to get your blog back, whatever happened to it.
Depressed? You could say so. I'm feeling an eerie sensation that my current real-life pressures are going to have a deep impact on my gaming life. And perhaps sooner rather than later. You know how you can just feel these things?
And this thought is making me really, really angry. I'm getting squeezed from all sides with regard to my work, and I'm just feeling like there's no way out at the moment. But there is a way out. It will just take work. And the time for that work needs to come from somewhere. And unfortunately, the time will most likely be stripped away from my gaming life.
Sorry for being a downer. I figured I'd share with the group and see how much misery loves company, etc. For now, I'm NOT giving up on my Wednesday night gaming goodness. I just might be missing more Wednesdays in the near to mid-future, unfortunately. But then again, who knows? Tomorrow is another day.
If anyone can give me any intel on what happened to Grendelwulf, I'd appreciate it. In the meantime, I'll be searching for some inspiration...